HarmonQuest

The group gets mixed up over whether Jeff/Boneweevil can confirm the information Erin/Beur gave when she entered the scene. Dan inquires whether someone can enter a scene and make something up without it being established.

The Village Chief challenges the group to a celebratory wrestling match. Boneweevil and Teflonto tag team against the Chief. Fondue wrestles his inner demons in the main event. Jeff takes a walk in the void.

Paul explains his experience with fantasy role playing. Spencer gives him a test game, where Paul finds himself in a small room, and has to find his way out.

Dan is amused by Spencer's method by which he told Dan of his character's backstory. He says he'd like Spencer to deliver all his bad news. The group jokes about what examples of bad news Spencer would give.

The group searches for a way to get through the cave into the mine. Deepok Chopra's feud with the Dwarf ghosts comes into play. Fondue finds out that women have the best perception, Beur and Deepok explain how they scan, Fondue gets impatient.

Boneweevil taunts at the Dwarf Ghosts, who in turn try to attack him with pick axes. Boneweevil has evasion, and is one-step ahead of their attack.

Entering the cave, Deepk Chopra explains her backstory and how she became a monk. She reveals that she was not talking to anyone else in time at the time of the attack; the "Kevin McCallister" of Dwarven Monks.

Beur crawls through the tunnel, warning Boneweevil not to fart on her. Boneweevil farts into the tunnel, thinking that it's Fondue. Beur is reminded of her father. Jeff gets his Harmon universes mixed up.

Spencer gives Steve Agee a tutorial in which he finds himself in a large cardboard box, filled with a mysteriously salty fluid. Steve finds a way to exit the box, and reveals he killed JFK.

Fondue distracts the guard, Knave, creating a diversion for Boneweevil to enter the Union House. Boneweevil tries to get information out of the bartender, who gives Boneweevil a hard time.

Fondue wants to draw a penis on the guard's forehead. Beur asks questions about what an Orc penis looks like. Fondue goes into great detail, in order to hit on Beur.

As they group asks Rib Sanchez about his backstory, Boneweevil gets a little too close. Fondue tries to figure out whether the sailors are for the crown or against the crown. Beur wonders whether they are poop and pee smugglers. Rib Sanchez is pro-environment, but also makes drugs out of the excrement.

Rib reveals that he grew up in a place where everything was hard, so he smuggles soft things back to his land and get rich. Fondue tries to relate, but Rib reveals he is slightly racist against Orcs. Beur is amused by Rib's racist jokes against Orcs. Fondue tries to keep calm.

In attempting to fish, Fondue stumbles his words, causing Beur to go off on another racist joke against Orcs. Rib joins in on the fun. Fondue fails to keep his cool.

The group finds themselves in a prison cell, where a voice reveals another prisoner; a gnome named Hawaiian Coffee. Fondue finds a toilet, but Hawaiian Coffee warns him to stay away. She explains how she got arrested and her clothing, before revealing she is magic and can transfigure anything.

The group argue over their next move. Fondue wants to hide the guards' bodies to hide the evidence, but Beur, Boneweevil and Hawaiian Coffee question his judgement. Beur punches Fondue in the face to calm him down, which does not work. Hawaiian Coffee ignores Fondue's rant. Boneweevil tries to keep the peace. Fondue moves the guards' bodies out of stubbornness.

In attempt to cause a distraction for an escape, Hawaiian Coffee assumes the shape of one of the Guard's mother. She insists the guard needs to leave and help his brother.

Jeff mistakenly eats a cheeto, John warns him not to touch his eyes for five days.

Fondue wants to rename the "Sandman Desert." He has a brief conversation with the Sun.

John Hodgman gives his backstory with role-playing games. Dan relates and jokes about his career being based on bullying his nerdier, younger self.

In a test game, John finds himself in a public restroom with an overflowing toilet. John goes through a "large man sized door," which is the size of a large man, in order to escape.

Fondue tries to swing through the trees. Beur chides him as a copycat, Dan wonders whether she thinks she owns the trees, singing a song as an copyright-free parody of the Pocahontas song.

Spencer walks Thomas through a test scenario, where he finds himself in a hallway filled with statues. Thomas uses his tote bag to swap the weight of the golden statue, gaining access to the exit. Thomas, being an avid role-player, rolls dice to simulate whether he would have passed the test; he does not.

Boneweevil deduces from their tests that they are all heroes in their own way. As Dildo is about to corroborate Boneweevil's revelation, he has a brief stroke. Coming to, and brushing it off as something that happens all the time, Beur comforts him like a small baby.

Dan establishes how much Erin loves the movie Labyrinth, and can easily answer the riddle in which they are asked. Jeff and Spencer both heard the riddle from other sources. Boneweevil successfully explains how to solve the riddle. Fondue and Beur warn Boneweevil of the perils of choosing "down," as it happened in Labyrinth. Thomas and Jeff mimick the talking hands from the movie.

Dildo welcomes the group to his campfire, and explains his backstory. Boneweevil questions Dildo's intentions, Dildo tries to pull Boneweevil's leg. Dildo explains his outfit to the group.

Boneweevil gives Eddie a hand job, Eddie praises it as better than Fondue's. Boneweevil attempts to make a pun about Goblins, Beur masturbates and cries in the corner. Praising Bonweevil's hand job again, Eddie insults Fondue's ability and his absent father.

After finding Master Sage in a box, Boneweevil opens a series of boxes - one is full of rocks, one has another box, which is full of socks. Eddie warns Boneweevil not to touch the socks, as he's had a lot of alone time over the years.

Fondue sings a public-domain song about looking for a key.

Eddie is forced at knife-point to expand on his life story. He explains that his friends are all dead, because previous adventurers had killed them in attempt to gain entrance to the temple. Because of this, Eddie has a suicidal outlook on life, but is bound by his contract not to kill himself. Fondue explains the wonders of the outside world; parades, parties, juice, etc. Boneweevil asks Eddie if he's ever had sex before, Fondue gets the hint and asks the team to leave the room.

Fondue announces he wants to do something cool during his next turn. James Dean attacks one of the cultists - a thin, grey old man. The group feels bad about hurting the old man. When it's finally Fondue's turn, he proclaims: "SYNAX! NOW YOU DIE!" Erin is disappointed. Fondue tries some cool one-liners to yell at Synax before he attacks the cultist.

Beur says she doesn't need "your gaze," which sounded homophobic, Fondue apologizes to James Dean. Spencer explains it was a "homophonic" joke. Dan invites the audience to stay tuned for a spirited wordplay discussion.

Beur uses her orange potion, not knowing what it does. The potion makes Vortheon fly into the air. He counter attacks by magically ripping out Beur's blood into a large spike, which hits Boneweevil. James Dean saves the day by using her much-awaited Holy Blast, to the excitement of her compatriots.

After Beur takes some damage in a battle, Synax fires a bolt of energy at Jeff Davis, who is randomly in the room. Jeff makes some small talk with the heroes, then leaves. Fondue and Beur note the french novel Jeff was holding, and both agree he's not a poser.

Chadge is eager to rebuild his relationship with Fondue. He asks about Fondue's mother, Fondue tells him the grim tale of her eventually slapping herself to death because she was alone.

Boneweevil and Fondue inspire Tedder Spice to rally the people into defending the village. Various villagers speak up in support of the Chief and his hair. A little boy tells a sad story

While building the cage around the village, Fondue hangs from the monkey bars as Chadge works. Fondue recalls a similar childhood memory in which he was swinging from monkey bars, but his father was nowhere to be seen. Chadge disappears into the void. Back in the present, Chadge gives Fondue words of support, while Fondue hopes the Manticore can't get through twigs.

The group tries to barter with the old Chief to pay off Chadge's debt. Chadge insists he can't allow this to happen. Fondue tries to get their priorities straight before worrying about "invoices." Fondue gets emotional and insists his father owes him. Chadge tries to make it up to him by offering him a painting.

Hosted by Travis McElroy

Spencer doesn’t trust the Audio Guys and teaches Gillian how to play Pathfinder.

The gang reminisces about things that didn’t happen.

Boneweevil and Charles Fight some Verches.

The gang finds that their reputation precedes them.

Beur recalls her spotted past as a rage-a-holic.

Spencer teaches Rory how to play Pathfinder.

The gang tries to get to the bottom of saying let’s quest to kick off the episode.

The gang tries to remember what happened last episode, and Rory tries to show up early.

The gang finds the flower they were questing for, but realizes they left their cauldron in the swamp.

Krandrelarius tries to get the gang to stay and hang out.

Boneweevil and Fondue have a heart to heart about their time apart.

The gang chats with Beauflecks, who sings a Draconic Shower Song.

The gang argues and a season-long completely cut runner is born.

Boneweevil tries to strangle a demon with the friendship bracelet, and it breaks, obviously.

Spencer can’t come up with a cliffhanger.

Spencer teaches Paul how to play Pathfinder and looks so fat in that shirt jeez.

The gang discovers that they kinda killed all of the people in Bonebreak Village.

The Tooth Beast teaches the gang a new handshake.

Beur wants to know the secret to the Tooth Beast’s happiness.

The gang knows the secret to defeating the Caretaker of the Abyss, but doesn’t understand the ramifications of that knowledge.

Patton already knows how to play Pathfinder but these make good extra content.

Boneweevil is suspicious of Sandpole’s tea, made by his grandma Adam Sandler.

The gang is still suspicious of the tea and investigates Sandpole’s house.

Boneweevil makes a noble and time-consuming show of drinking the tea to demonstrate trust while a demon sword slaughters civilians.

The gang fights the sword demon. Hilarity ensues.

Dan and friends talk break down the play by play of the show that just happened.

Spencer teaches Janet how to play Pathfinder; Janet eats her leg.

Beur talks to Sedona about Fondue and Boneweevil’s strained friendship.

The gang chats with The Manifest and puts on pants.

Fondue creates a Gremlin.

The gang rounds out the fight with that weird doppelgänger thing.

Spencer teaches Jason how to play Pathfinder but kinda peters out at the end.

The gang is confounded by and attempts to murder the City Guards.

The gang meets Gribble Grabble, the plucky young beggar boy.

Dan and friends become the first webseries to get letters.

Fondue tries to put a knife up Grabble Gribble’s butt.

Spencer teaches Elizabeth how to play Pathfinder.

The gang tries to find cool treasure.

The gang tries to comprehend the true nature of the Keystone Obelisk.

The gang tries to destroy the magical core of the Keystone Obelisk.

Fondue commits to a musical episode as the gang escapes from a crumbling ruin.

The gang gets trapped under the dome and tries in vain to get out.

The gang encounters a highly mystical and non-euclidean room full of mirrors and magic that was meant to be animated but got cut for time.

Beur wrestles with an alternate reality version of herself.

Boneweevil realizes he’s bi.

Kumail already knows how to play Pathfinder but it’s classic bonus content.

Eddie Lizzard discusses his ascent to fame and fortune and shows off his robot.

The gang makes a few attacks and some quips.

The gang tries to do cool attacks for the animators, Beur attempts to land a final blow.

The gang tries to end the show with an ultimate attack, but luck is not on their side.