Oddity Archive

Michael Bay directed music videos? That would explain a lot.

This video has been censored by "The Man" for your pleasure.

What the hell would make this overplayed moldy-oldie count as an oddity? Find out...

The first Archive Riffs episode. Ben tackles a supposed promotional film for the "Butter & Egg Days Festival" that the Rifftrax guys already did--but they don't know real art (like Ben does).

A nice, compact little review of one of the most (in)famous "drugstore" records ever released. Bet you thought we didn't have a copy!

An informal discussion of the TV Sign-Offs episode.

Something about February always gets Ben thinking about Civil Defense Broadcasting.

At the time of the Conservative Folk Music episode, some of the artists discussed had yet to make their digital debuts. Naturally, Ben would want to take a look at the CD that rounds up the complete folk-rock works of Janet Greene.

Perhaps the Archive's most infamous episode needed a little more context. Maybe not. Nevertheless, it got it anyway--the context, that is.

Ever wanted to get an (impersonal) birthday greeting from Milton Berle? How 'bout an answering machine message from "Richard Simmons"? Yeah, didn't think so.

An informal Q & A session. Yep, that's about it.

The first Archive Riffs episode. Ben tackles a supposed promotional film for the "Butter & Egg Days Festival" that the Rifftrax guys already did--but they don't know real art (like Ben does).

A commentary cut for the Local TV Special that was originally shelved due to a factual error regarding Indianapolis-based Horror Movie Host, Sammy Terry. Well, that and a couple of other brain farts.

Ben riffs the sole survivor of his childhood Public Domain VHS collection.

Recorded before the original episode premiered. Since then, we've learned that: 1. Audiofidelity Records started in the mid/late 1950's and issued some of the first stereo records. 2. Someone at Audiofidelity went berserk sometime in the '70's and started issuing pirated Beatles albums. 3. Those that signed up for the Kid Pics newsletter wound up on mailing lists for sleazy child beauty pageants (are there any other kind?). Ben has since learned that: 1. Playing a record at 75% of it's original speed is equivalent to flattening the "key" by a fourth, not a flat-fifth. 2. Audio frequencies are exponential. 2. Ben cannot do math in his head.

Learn to take the safe way to school (but only if you have to walk through Chinatown).

One of the Archive's earliest episodes seems to have gone missing. As such, Ben has been forced to remake it. Or, this was Ben's (unsurprisingly, failed) submission to the ConBravo indie video showcase.

An all-too-brief look back at the Archive's first Halloween special.

Given we followed up the first Halloween Special with a review of a "spooky sound effects" album, we figured it wouldn't hurt to do it again.

Chain Aunt Phyllis to the family piano and enjoy an old-fashioned Thanksgiving.

A much-maligned commentary to a forgotten Archive episode.

Because nothing says "Christmas" quite like creepy wax figures and a bargain-basement Bing Crosby.

...because the local stations suck.

Sid Davis would like to remind you that he loves his wallpaper and hates your child.

Since we spent so much time with anti-smoking propaganda last time out, in the name of fairness, we thought we'd share some pro-smoking propaganda. Sorry, no dancing Luckies here (seriously, what can you say about it? Insert smart-ass comments below).

Everything Ben has to say about the Backwards Masking episode in a mere 12 minutes!

Can your heart take the sheer sex appeal of the Philips N1500? No (prescription) pills necessary!

Alternate Title: Why The Archive isn't terribly conducive to outtake specials.

One of those rare occasions where there was a little TOO much to say in an episode.

Released about five minutes before the Conelrad system was established (and featuring some nice undercranking), 1951's Atomic Alert teaches you how to keep your nuclear experience nice and peaceful.

A new spin-off of the Archive in which a piece of equipment is discussed that either has already been discussed in greater detail or that simply wouldn't amount to even a minisode of Archive.

The rejected pilot of Ben's Junk (for reasons that should become readily apparent fairly quickly). This time out, Hasbro's failed attempt at a portable DVD player for kids.

By request, Ben discusses "Format Wars". By unilateral action, Ben discusses both "Format Wars" videos in one convenient (for him) commentary.

A "by request" Ben's Junk. Taking a look at the camcorder used to film "Going Analog" and "Y2K Apocalypse Party".

Who'da thunk the making of this episode AND the episode itself was about rediscovery?

Perhaps a too-personal installment of Ben's Junk. Don't take that the wrong way...

Must be that magic time of year again when Ben lazily dusts off the previous year's Halloween episode for a commentary.

SPOILER ALERT: Whoa-oh here it comes/Watch out boy, it'll chew them up/Whoa-oh here it comes/It's a tape eater!

Finally, a VCR that can play all international formats! What do you mean, it only has mono sound?!? What you do mean I need converter boxes?!?

The long-awaited conclusion to the two-part Ben's Junk VHS extravaganza. Does this count as the climax?

Two episodes of LaserKaraoke and still no demonstration of the machine? Yeah, I'm kinda slow...

A dual commentary for both 1-900 ARCHIVE volumes. WARNING: Wrestling aficionados may not like what I have to say.

The DuMont episode ran ridiculously overlong (gotta love that molasses-slow early TV!). Here is a deleted segment giving an overview on the Game Shows aired on the DuMont Network.

Pouring some additional salt in the gamer wounds...

Slightly bastardizing the usual Ben's Junk format--but not Ben's Junk itself (that'd hurt).

...and welcome to (probably the only edition of) "Ben Tries"!

A day late, a dollar short--you know the deal.

Little did I know... NOTE: If you don't like my dry, rambling (and stutter-heavy) commentaries, you might wanna skip this one.

Nothing but the cutting edge in home video technology in Archive-land!

I'm so vain, I KNOW I think this short is about me...

I really wanted to be hypnotized! Seriously!

The original "demo" segment in the CD-I episode ran long. REALLY LONG! This is the complete, intended segment shamelessly re-purposed as a "Ben's Junk" episode.

Just going through some (relatively) recent additions to the Archive's 8-track (and associated) pile.

DVR? Two-week advance recording? Wusses.

Made as a thank you to the viewer who sent this. A thank you for not sending us any Magic Clown ephemera, that is.

Looking back on the mental and physical scars sustained while making the Rejuvenique episode--and the mask too.

Recounting one of the Archive's more memorable production experiences.

I hate it when my ideas for holiday specials fall through...

Discussing what was arguably the most difficult restoration project I’ve (successfully) undertaken. Special thanks once again to Stephen Greer for his generous donation.

'Cause, you know, Thanksgiving, food...it all makes sense.

What's with the box? Who's that creepy guy in the intro? Is Chuck Swirsky really a freakin' nerd? Those questions (and more) will be answered in this video.

The Archive dusts off a minor (albeit severely butchered) art-house classic. Merry Christmas!

Filmed for inclusion on the CED episode (Episode 92), but left off for time.

Ben geeks out about guitars for 25 minutes. Watch at your own peril.

Let’s just say it all just kind of fell into my lap.

As promised, here's the second installment on the CD-I collection. Was it worth the wait?

The one time where it's ok to giggle at Ben's Junk.

It takes a steady hand to run one of these. Unfortunately, that's something I sorely lack.

A wise man once said: “Save the big (stuff) for Ben’s Junk—it needs all the help it can get.”

Sometimes it takes a while for Ben's Junk to get in motion.

Admittedly, a very stream-of-consciousness commentary here, but a(n apparently) necessary one.

I already discussed this one back on the VCR Ephemera episode, but didn't have one, so I couldn't test it. Let's rectify that situation.

Taking a look at a (rather cryptic) promo reel for a series of silent, educational two-reelers.

A look at the first installment (and, to a lesser degree, the subsequent installments) of the recurring Record Ripoffs series. This is a commentary I’ve been wanting to do for awhile.

A look at one of the many competitors to the Atari 2600.

Discussing another bit of donated junk--'cause, you know, everybody apparently wants a hand in Ben's Junk.

Lately, I've been getting asked quite a bit about my music collection. All I can say is, be careful what you wish for.

Oh-oh, won’t you tell me again…and again…and again…

Taking another stab at the now-infamous "zombie" disc.

Fairly recent for an Archivism—let’s take a look at how the current generation of middle and high-schoolers grew up to be such narcissists.

Yeah, there were some ghosts in the camera—or were they gremlins?

ACTUAL (paid) TESTIMONIAL: Parenthood turned out to be a real bitch and we were totally unprepared. Thanks bob!

Another weapon in the Archive’s—well, archiving arsenal.

Well, I already discussed Big Mouth Billy Bass. Might as well finish the 90’s/Gemmy/Talking Novelty Item concept.

Superheroes? What are those?

A soldering kit for kids? Yeah, that about fits my skillset.

Like clockwork, I get my hands on a MD Walkman with a mic input just after I finish making the Minidisc episode. I swear it's a conspiracy.

I was downright embarrassed by my old CED Player (see the CED episode). Obviously, an upgrade was in order.

For all the overpriced hunks of plastic in my possession, it’s kind of a wonder that this segment of my record collection is so small.

(conversation overheard at VTech, 1988) Boss: What’s a name that sounds good and smart for our quasi-educational video game console? Engineer: Um, Socrates! Boss: Is he smart? Engineer: Yeah. Boss: Perfect! What’s for lunch?

A couple of obsolete, useless (to me) bits of Pay-TV history—so, of course, I bought them.

Ben helps save the environment—with bad audiobooks on a cheap, low-capacity, unalterable mp3 player!

I’m ready for my mail, Mr. DeMille.

Effectively tackling the three “(100% showtune-free) Musical March” episodes all at once. Who’da thunk old audio gear could be so controversial?

A decidedly different installment in the Ben’s Junk series. This time, I take a(n admittedly lengthy) stroll down memory lane about a family vacation from 20 years earlier.

Alternate Title: God, Ben! Don’t you listen to anything from this century?!?!

Remember kids, these are MY favorite albums, not yours. If there’s any overlap, consider it a happy accident.

A slightly askew edition of Ben’s Junk. Let’s rectify that situation.

When researching the DBX episode, as best as I could gather, there were no (legit) pre-recorded DBX-encoded audiocassettes. Turns out there was a line of Classical tapes.

…and the great Archive A/V tune-up continues.

The Archive kicks it up a notch—or at least about one-fifth of one.

Remember the single-use 35mm camera? How ‘bout a single-use camcorder?

The Archive gets nostalgic for nukes…

Ben gets nostalgic for nostalgia—he’s meta like that.

Taking a look at an external preamp for the turntable—largely only because the cool kids are into it.

An especially dull (or sharp) edition of Ben’s Junk—it’s capable of both.

Ben gets ambitious with his Christmas lights—in that, he’s putting any up at all.

…or, Telecine redux.

It’s no secret that the LP’s discussed on Archive were usually (presumably) buried in someone’s backyard. Naturally, we’re open to any new method of cleaning them up.

Ben’s second new (to him) cassette deck in a year. What makes this one so special?

Taking a look at (possibly) the first-ever CD cleaner/repair thing to ever hit the market. Is it a lost classic?

The second installment on CD cleaning/repair devices. Is it Royally good or Royal garbage?

What’s that thing with the face in the background? This, and many (well, a few) other questions will be answered at long last!

Let’s commit a bit of Luddite blasphemy, shall we?

Testing out a new, potential subseries—and hitting every conceivable pothole along the way.

…figured I’d better shoot at least one episode in Beautiful Downtown Aurora before leaving.

At last! Ben reviews a K-Tel product!

The MCS deck kinda got fried. Time for another fixer-upper!

Let’s unearth some (unintentional) pre-DVD Easter Eggs…

An early, talking board game—whose (nearly) every move is dictated by a tiny record.

Rather serendipitously, just in time to move, we’ve unearthed a promo video for an item that we’ve used on Archive many times—namely, the Talking House Transmitter. Talk about timing!

…because I totally needed a bunch more junk to try and pack up.

There were a precious few hallmarks of the old Archive HQ that I did NOT want to carry over. Speaker wire running all over the room was one of them.

Already went over to a direct-drive cassette deck, might as well do the same with vinyl…

Looking into the most intimate areas of Ben’s…half-baked stereo system.

Sergei’s Catacomb of Classics in stereo, anyone?

The Archive’s first livestream since 2014…and just as lo-fi as ever.

Archive Thrifting®: Now in ESTEREO!!!

A mere 3½ months in the making!

The return of the Halloween album reviews! Now in screaming, spooktacular stereo!

I’ve got search-for-a-reissue-of-the-original-Pac-Man-arcade-game fever…it’s driving me crazy.

A (non-filling) seven-course meal of Turkey Day commercialism!

So, what is the Oddity Archive guy doing with a reissue console?

A little stocking stuffer of yuletide caterwauling—er, caroling!

New year, more audio kit. It’s tradition, ya know?

Time to learn…that edutainment consoles rarely end well.

Wait, didn’t we already cover this? Talk about déjà vu…

Ben’s recovering from a virus (and middle-ear dysfunction). Sounds like a good time to do a (kiddie) camcorder review.

We’re just a bunch of old softies…with a taste for bent story arcs.

Will our scrappy hero escape the clutches of the snow monster? Find out in our next installment: “Frosty The Slowman, or, Snow Thanks to You”!

Tagline: Ben: Hey, good lookin’! How ‘bout I pick you up later? Attractive Lady: (smacks Ben so hard his fillings are rearranged) Ben: But it worked for the guy in the commercial…

Another fixer-upper? In Archiveland? Never!!!

While researching the recent VHS Distributors episode, I kept running into references to a publication known as the “Big Reel”. Turns out, it’s most (in)famous of the old film collector publications—and it’s easy to see why.

In a way, Laserdiscs never really outgrew their experimental phase. Here’s an informal, overview of SOME of the more idiosyncratic Laserdiscs out there (and/or their packaging).

DVD Easter Eggs? Nah, way too easy.

A double dose of turn-of-the-millennium PC goodness!

After a long delay…well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news.

The Archive finally gets to “see the X”! Spoiler: It’s a rock.

Let’s see if we can’t clear up some misconceptions about this episode…

I was going a little stir crazy at the end of last season. So, naturally, I decided to add a little to my at-home clutter.

New from K-Smell Records, it’s all those irritating moments that lead off each Record Ripoffs episode in one convenient package! ORDER NOW!!!

Readin’ and dreamin’ ‘bout those Archivisms that’ll probably never happen.

All seven minutes of the Archive’s low-grade, wannabe Frippertronics experiment! Earplugs are highly recommended.

Uh, oh. Ben’s geeking out again. Get comfy.

…or, how Ben unwittingly jumped on the “lo-fi” bandwagon.

Who says Ben’s got no rhythm? He’s got 10 of them!

…or, The Space-Age Sounds of the Oddity Archive! (now available on vinyl and 3¾ips reel)

Featuring our very Special Guest: Zippy The Chimp!

Can your heart (or better yet, head) stand a trip through this haunted house? No, seriously, this is our most headache-inducing one yet.

The first new piece of music I've written and released since 2012. As a challenge to myself, I tasked myself with creating a song using nothing but my old Moog/Realistic Concertmate MG-1 synthesizer--which is a REAL challenge given that I'm not a synth geek and my keyboard skills are dodgy at best. It also had to sound like something that could've been made and released around the time the synth was made (circa 1982). As such, effects are used sparingly and are confined to the basics (read: EQ, reverb & compression). Written as part of my ongoing attempts at creating some new, original incidental music for Oddity Archive. NOTE: Just in case you couldn't tell, the synth pics shown are NOT representative of the patches used.

Whatdaya mean you forgot you had a Moog? Also, synth snobs need not apply.

Since we were already talkin’ Video8, it only seemed right to cover the Archive’s first camcorder…not to mention, a piece of gear still (as of this episode, at least) in regular use around Archive HQ.

Guaranteed to keep this (internet) video from rolling!

Can online audio mastering render audio mastering engineers obsolete? The short answer: No. Having said that, it’s not as bad as you’d think.

Just your standard, good, old-fashioned, combustible, unnerving, overpriced Country Christmas…

Celebrating the true meaning of Boxing Day… a whole lotta furniture and carpet sales.

A would-be full-fledged video format episode…which got curtailed by (amazingly enough) a lack of computer stuff at Archive HQ.

An informal stroll few some cherry-picked titles from Ben’s (somewhat unintentional) collection of B-Movies and Cult Classics.

…or, what happens when ol’ Benny-boy decides he needs more than 2 microphone inputs.

Yes, I bought another synth. Yes, I swatted myself on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper over my lack of self-control.

Now you can enjoy a classic OA sign-off without all that pesky talking and technical junk! F.D.G. = Fully Digital Gunk? Faulty Daily Gherkins? Make up your own acronym.

Lookin’ under the hood of Ben’s laserdisc player (quite appropriately) with some General Motors discs.

Benny-boy’s (non-accredited) Audio School is now in session!

Please note that this episode may not run correctly unless your monitor is running at a minimum of 256 colors and your system has at least 12MB of available RAM.

Well, my last attempt at a semi-regular home audio recording rig failed…and my regular laptop is on its last legs. Here’s my attempt at solving both issues at once.

Time to take a bet(t)a look at the Archive’s first Betamax—from before the Archive even existed (in every sense).

A genuine televisual feast.

Question #196.5: What is the Quiz Wiz lacking? Multiple Choice: A. An objective B. A reward C. Entertainment value D. All of the above

In honor of the "Switched-On Archive" episode, I figured I'd make two pieces of music, one to represent both extremes of the trend of late '60's/early '70's Moog Synthesizer albums--the good and the "bad". This rendition of the Archive's usual theme song is intended to salute/work within the realm of the album that (unwittingly) started it all, Wendy Carlos' "Switched-On Bach" (1968). This was created entirely on a Moog MG-1 and was done strictly within the realm of what was possible in the late '60's and early '70's. Keeping in spirit with the original, monophonic synths of the '60's, I used NONE of the polyphonic settings.

My half-salute to/half-parody of those especially tacky late '60's/early '70's Moog Synthesizer albums. The cheese factor goes to 11 here. This was created...without a Moog. Instead, I used a Behringer Neutron monophonic synth (more potential whiz-bang sound effects than my Moog MG-1) and a circa 1972 Whippany Rhythm Master. This was recorded with the general limitations of this period of recording gear.

The Archive gets secure...or just paranoid.

OA calling CQ, hopefully DX, lookin’ for the QT on the DL while TCB.

Archive Thrifting is a magical tool of last resort…Why? Because it NEVER fails!

…or, Ben’s weirdest pet-project to date! (kerchunk)

Initially intended as a full-band "electric" tune, but recorded as a folk piece back in 2004. Sixteen years later, I'm finally getting around to an electric version--albeit with some slightly cinematic modifications.

Meet the Archive’s new (to us) 8-track deck…

A rare, intimate, bedroom edition of Ben’s Junk…

I was informed that the regular version was too upbeat and concise for the Episode 200 OA documentary. This was my best attempt at making it as dreary and hazy as possible.

Representing the dry, yet thoughtful end of Episode 200...

Ok, time for my side of the story...

Somehow I started with what I thought was a pretty cool-sounding canned rhythm (running through a guitar delay pedal) and wound up with a Jean-Michel Jarre pastiche. No idea how I got there.

Since I had S-VHS and VCR’s on the brain already (moreso than usual), it seemed like the right time to revisit one of the early, ultra-wonky Ben’s Junk topics.

October 4, 2020 marked the 125th anniversary of comedian/filmmaker Buster Keaton’s birth. Consider this the Archive’s (slightly belated and rambling) tribute to one of the greats…

It’s the first Archive Thrifting Spooktacular! Strangely enough, it’s probably one of the least scary Thrifting episodes to date.

You can keep your fancy digital cameras, thank you very much.

A slow-speed ramble for a slow-speed format.

We be stylin’…stylus(in’), that is…y’all.

Fillin’ up the ol’ one-horse open sleigh with…some junk.

Time to get back in the groove! (dodges tsunami of rotten produce)

Finishing up the trilogy of belatedly-acquired, nostalgically-motivated miniature video game consoles…

Only about seven years in the making… With the occasional small liberty, a recreation of the first, commercially-available home videotape recording setup in North America. Depending on your perspective, it’s either hardcore or half-baked.

No one should ever get this excited over something this mundane… Or, this CRT is 20 AF…y’all.

You’ll be green with envy over these finds…or not.

Just when you thought the Archive couldn’t get any more phake…

It’s time to get down to business in Archiveland!

Can a (relative) cheapie from Menard’s drag the Archive’s off-air recording capabilities (kicking and screaming) into the 21st century? Sort of…

A late-night, low-light, romantic fishing expedition with everybody’s favorite Oddity Archivist…fishing for ArchiveAnnex material, that is.

Could it be I’ve finally stumbled onto the rightful heir of the VCR? Looks like it…

A double-(4)-header of D-VHS (when possible) goodness!

If ever an OA episode needed a commentary track, it’s this one…

Featuring deals so far outta sight, they’re outta mind!

Of course, I had to pick up a rare and unusual deck for a tape cleaning rig. Also, not to be confused with the Akai GX-220D.

You wanted a history lesson? You got a history lesson!

The Archive delivers its first real travelogue…granted, it was all of a half-hour away from home, but still.

Thrifting can be a real drag…but not when Ben’s around!

A bit of VHSMR for everyone…

There’s plenty in the OA oven right now, just none of it is rising.

I got things just a hare wrong the first time around, so let’s hop to another round of tests…

Most people would rent a video once…Benny-boy was just insane enough to rent the same tapes over and over…then eventually buy them.

A half-hour Ben’s Junk? You might say the machine caused it to run reely long.

Get a witches shawl on and find a broomstick you can crawl on…and go thrifting with Benny-boy! (snap, snap)

0:01 - Thereminiature (featuring Sty Lo Phone) (A bit of B-Movie cheese) 1:36 - Pavanned (Version 6.66) (A half parody of/half tribute to the Alan Parsons Project)

Finally getting into this newfangled digital camera stuff…whatdaya mean you can’t get 3.5” floppies anymore?!?

Does Ben really think he’s better than Chuck Swirsky? That freakin’ liberal…

‘Tis the season…for holiday specials. Here’s some of my favorites…

Run, run Rudolph…towards another pile of junk!

Move over, “History of the Eagles”. There’s a new rock doc opus in town…

Going down a mental rabbit hole…in the most Archivian way possible.

Not so much chosen for musical content, but because of the long spaces between phrases and major volume drops. Shame it isn't more EQ'd, this'd the ultimate stress test for a PCM unit otherwise.

Feeling nostalgic for those early YouTube potato video captures? I’ve got just the scratch for that itch…

At long last, Ben’s Junk gets the clap…per.

A little mythbusting (and philosophizing)…OA style.

After last week’s video, I had to seek a 600-second miracle of my own. It seems to involve turning into a less-charming Daniel Johnston.

An addendum to the “Prehistoric UHF” episode…and the “ONTV/Pay TV Vol. 2” episode—about three years too late.

For those about to rock (in 11/4 time), we salute you…

Ben recreates the best TV program of all time—the color bars!

Flying by the seat of Benny's ripped (by wear and tear) jeans using only an iPad and his (half-)wit to try and raise money for a new computer.

It takes a lot to keep Ben’s Junk together…‘cause Ben’s Junk ain’t no good when it’s distorted and out-of-sync.

A little (non-alcoholic) wine, a little song...which'll all cease if the price is right. Otherwise, we'll chat and I may pick a techie brain or two.

A casual chat…if only because the prospect of the sixth “Ben’s Junk” in a row was too much to bear.

Please note, these are the statements of an analog-brained lunatic and are probably woefully inaccurate. In other words, never give an analog brain a computer.

CRT’s are for squares…which we proudly are.

Tackling one of the great urban legends of the Laserdisc format. Are there any “good” copies of Eraser? And, no, I’m not referring to the film itself.

Got a new phone (not by choice)…which means a new camera…which means…test drive time!

It’s a(n apparent) fine line between deep expressionism and wonky student film.

Mother Nature: (throws flash floods, tornadoes, derechos and blizzards at Archive HQ) Ben: I get the hint already! Geez…

A truly nice little radio (especially on the AM front)…and a nice little prelude to the OA 10th Anniversary episode.

Taken while shooting the AM Stereo episode. If nothing else, it was the least sticker-shock-intensive part of the trip.

Testing out a potential, new occasionally recurring thing in which I undertake minor repairs on some item…and, as always, mock it a bit.

…and the single most challenging project I’ve ever taken on…continues to kick my butt. Share in the frustration, won’t you?

Hope you like fussy, fidgety, unintuitive setups…and 45-minute Ben’s Junks.

Hey Buddy, wanna see some early 20th century movie theater slides? Didn’t think so.

…or, Ben gets nostalgic for other people’s nostalgia.

A rather unprofessional look at a truly professional piece of gear. Such is the Archive… And, yes, “Junk” is used in the loosest way possible here.

Mom, can we buy some Halloween? (see title for answer)

I think I have some ‘splainin’ to do regarding this one. NOTE: I recorded this back in early June (2022) as a fail-safe in case the thrifting episode I was trying to make fell through. Some of the points discussed here are now outdated.

…or, as some might call it, “Ben’s Final Descent Into Madness”.

It’s (apparently) a fine line between your TV and a taxi meter…